My son starts sixth grade next week.
(I know. Summer break ends early here in Georgia, and I’ll never get used to it.)
The other night before bed, he admitted he was nervous.
Not about making friends, he’s always been naturally social, but about everything else.
The older kids with facial hair and deeper voices.
The rush between classes (“Only four minutes?!” he said).
The unspoken rules of new hallways and lunch tables.
He was trying to make sense of something he hadn’t lived yet.
I sat beside him, smoothed his hair, and said,
“The thing to remember is that every single sixth grader walking through that door has also never been a sixth grader before.”
He took it in with a gentle sigh.
And the moment stuck with me long after he went to sleep.
Because this is exactly what I see in business every day.
We assume the woman who looks successful must have all the answers. That she must feel confident in every room, every role, every decision. That wealth and recognition must mean she’s earned some internal sense of certainty.
I want to tell you the truth.
After nearly 20 years of working with ultra high-level women, I’ve never met a single one who wasn’t still figuring something out.
It’s both their edge and their vulnerability.
Multi-millionaires. Public figures.
Women who fly private, own multiple homes, retire their husbands, and still Google, “When does the imposter feeling go away?”
I remember one evening session with Ali Sweeney (yes, that Ali Sweeney, the host of The Biggest Loser and long-time Days of Our Lives actress). We weren’t talking about motivation or how to push harder. We were talking about wine.
About how having a glass after a tough workout doesn’t mean she’s slipping, or self-sabotaging, or losing her edge. It just means she’s freaking human.
And yet, even with everything she’s accomplished, she was still navigating that quiet internal voice that asks, “If I were really as disciplined as I say I am, should I even want this?”
That’s what no one tells you about success.
It’s not just the pressure to achieve.
It’s the pressure to perform your success in the “right” way.
Some bizarre set of made-up rules that we inherited as we look to grow.
It reminds me of the Avicii: I Am Tim documentary. (I’ve watched it twice and bawled both times.)
How he became so deeply entangled with his external “Avicii” persona that “Tim” got lost. I’ll be honest… as big of a fan as I’ve always been, I didn’t even know his name was Tim.
His music was on nearly EVERY playlist I created, from Hollywood spin class to Atlanta Flywheel, for nine years… and I never knew his name.
But that’s the danger of falling in love with a persona, of presenting an identity to the world. Sometimes that no longer fits, or maybe it never did.
Because there are no rules.
Everyone’s just making them up the best way they know how.
And what I really want you to walk away with today is that: There is no level at which you outgrow your humanity.
No milestone that dissolves self-doubt.
No title, trophy, or tax bracket that immunizes you from uncertainty.
Every woman I’ve coached, whether she’s running a $55 million company or raising a family while raising $5.5 million in capital (true story), has faced that same inner hallway.
The one where everything echoes.
Where you wonder if you belong here.
If you’re really ready for what’s beyond this edge.
And if you’re feeling a shift right now professionally, financially, or personally here are three things I want you to know:
1. Nobody really knows what they’re doing when they’re doing it for the first time. (This includes sixth graders and CEOs.)
2. Feeling unsure doesn’t mean you’re not ready. It means you’re aware.
3. If you want to build something real, start by getting honest about what is your dream, and what was someone else’s.
No one becomes something new without feeling a little lost in the hallway between who they were and who they’re becoming.
That’s where we do the work.
Sometimes in designer heels.
Sometimes with our face on magazine covers.
And even when we’ve already “made it.”
Especially then.
You don’t need a dream you never wanted.
You need a life that feels like yours.
And we build THAT. One breath, one decision, one brave new hallway at a time.
Mom of 2 who hates minivans, loves luxurious travel experiences, and believes life is too short for mediocre champagne.